dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
