After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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