come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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