He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
