I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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