i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
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She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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