how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
