so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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