So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
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I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
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Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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