at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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