i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize