We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
