I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
