i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize