You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
