I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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