Christians are straight up FREAKS
Only a mothe r could love this liver
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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