Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
