omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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