I am puke
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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