Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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