I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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