garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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