its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
