We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
