when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her