I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.