i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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