my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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