I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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