We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize