Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
