I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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