I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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