um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out