Did you just see the Batmobile???
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
