Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
