Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
