i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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