This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
