4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
