she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
