dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
