I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
