hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize