Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
