Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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