i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
