I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize