I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
