So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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