Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
why does every cop we meet know your name?