Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
