remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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