i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
