Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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