so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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