this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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