Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
