i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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